The 30th of November 2018 remains probably the most traumatic day in my family's life. It was the day my son went to work and didn't come home. It was on the Friday, and I received a phone call from his girlfriend at the time. At around lunchtime, he was getting down off the roof, they were installing solar panels in Bendigo, and he fell, and she rang and said there was an ambulance had turned up on site and they'd called an air ambulance from Melbourne, and they were going to airlift him to Melbourne.
So, we made a decision to hop in the car and start heading to Melbourne, we were going to go to the Alfred Hospital. We got to about Flemington Road and we got a call from Bendigo Hospital to say that Kyle had deteriorated, so they kept him in Bendigo. So, we had to turn around and come back because they had no mobile number for us and about halfway back my wife had a panic attack, so I had to pull over on the side of the road and address her. And I suppose it's the first time on the drive that I started to think, you know, maybe he could die. It was the only time I'd really thought about it, but I was trying to remain positive for my wife.
About half an hour out of Bendigo. His girlfriend, Brittany, rang me and said, oh, the hospital won't let her go in to see him. And so, I rang the hospital, and they said, No, she's not family. And we'd prefer she didn't. So, they waited and then we pulled up to the hospital.
Went up to reception. And they said, oh, the doctors want to see you in a separate room. And that was the first time I realized that this was not good. So, they called us in and said that Kyle had passed away 15 minutes earlier from injuries sustained from the fall and a fracture in the back of his skull and also got some broken ribs. And I asked, could we go and see him? And we went in. Saw Kyle, he was passed away at that stage, spent some time with him. And I came out and the detective asked me could I come and formally identify Kyle? And then I said to the detective, Do I need to organize the funeral director, to get him home? He goes, No, it's a, it's a crime scene. He's going to be taken to Melbourne for an autopsy. And that was quite confronting at the time. So, then I realised that I needed to let my daughter know. Riley, she was at school schoolies in Melbourne, and they were an hour and a half, 2 hours away itself, and she wanted to drive back, and I told her just, just to wait.
So, then I rang family, and we drove back to Castlemaine. And all our family came around here and my brother-in-law jumped in the car with me, and we went and met Riley halfway and brought her home and yeah, that's...as I said that was the that's the day. And I suppose I'm never going to forget that. It certainly changed our family and yeah, you hope that your family, or child goes to work and comes home but it doesn't happen sometimes.
Kyle was born on the 3rd of October in 1997. So, when he passed away, he’d just gone 21, and he died actually a day after my wife's birthday. So that's not a good time of the year for us. Kyle was a fun-loving sort of boy. He loved music and loved playing guitar like he had six guitars. We buried him with the new one. He’d paid five and a half thousand dollars for it to get made, and so we couldn't keep that one. So, we actually buried him with that.
He, he loved, loved people. Very friendly young fella. Some of his friends still drop around. And he was very close with his sister. Riley. There’s days I often wonder, coming up, he would have been 26. What would you be doing now? I often think to myself as a 26-year-old, what would Kyle be doing? I don't know. I think he'd be sitting on the couch playing guitar because that's what he loved doing. Just loved music. That's that was his whole life.
Since Kyle’s passed, we every Sunday, on the tree outside, I've got the Protea tree, we grow flowers, we go down to the cemetery. So, I mean a lot of people say to you, you know, what you at the weekend I'd say, oh, not much. But you know it's a, it's a ritual. Every week you get in the cemetery, and I always find that pretty hard. You’ve got to go and visit your son in the cemetery. And even our work, I hear people talking about their children and sometimes you get a bit sad, you know, but people, people live in a bubble. And once you've lost someone, you you certainly realize that there's lots of things out there. People get on with their life pretty quickly, but you still carry the pain.
One thing Kyle and his mother Di had in common, they just had this Mexican theme. Since he passed, Di’s set up the cactus garden, which we've gotten, thousands of dollars worth. I seem to have to plant all the cactus and get all the spikes from them…But that that's a love that's come out of that. So that's our retreat we go to and that's where we feel most at ease, sitting in the cactus garden.
Since Kyle had passed, that's changed our lives dramatically. My daughter Riley was going to head off to university that next year, and she deferred for three years. She's now gone to university. Uh, my wife certainly struggled. And myself struggled.
Now you have birthdays, you have Christmas. Well, last week was Father's Day, you know, I mean, people said to me, what you do, Father's Day. I said, well, when I saw my son in the cemetery, I mean, that's what I do for Father's Day. There's just so many things to remind you of having them around. And I said, you know, my wife's on medication. We all sought treatment, and it just doesn't get any easier.
Three things I'd like to share with people who are affected by workplace incidents is you're not alone. Other people have been injured or killed at work. And so don't feel as if you're stuck alone. Don't bottle it up and talk to people and try and get some help. If you need help. Don't, don't, don't. Just sit at home and think about it.
And people have been through, especially with deaths. I mean, the pains always there. But, you know, you've got you learn to live with it and, you know, get help from people to move on and try and get on with your life.
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